


The only enigma I'd love to solve to love

by Zoe_Morgan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Female Merlin, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Genderbending, Genderfuck, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merthur - Freeform, Romance, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 09:43:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9066376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoe_Morgan/pseuds/Zoe_Morgan
Summary: Merlin ran before Arthur to protect him from the witch. The spell cursed by that witch intended to Arthur hit Merlin instead of Arthur. The unexpected story of everything was started at there. All bundle up of Hurt, Truth, Love, Beauty and Magic are miracle. That miracle also known as MERTHUR.





	1. Chapter 1

  
° "You're not going to die Merlin. You're not going to happen anything. Don't die idiot. Understand?"

Arthur mutters himself under gritted teeth, he's carrying Merlin's motionless body, looking down at Merlin's pale like bloodless face and tightening his grip on Merlin. Merlin can't respones his usual insults back to his king now. Arthur doesn't wait his party to catch with him. He's half running toward the court physician ward. Helplessly piteous Merlin is lying on his king arms like a paper doll.

  
° "What happened my Lord?"

Gaius tries to control to not include his worry in his voice but he failed.

"This idiot ran in front of me like an actual idiot and was hit by something evil harm instead of me. He seemed to think he was hero without wearing even a proper jacket, let alone the chainmail. Such an idiot. Damn it that witch. …"  
°  
Arthur is talking like to himself than explaining what actually happened to Gaius. But Gaius can collect some facts from Arthur's muttered trash while he's checking on Merlin's condition. Gaius knows Merlin's still alive and his harm isn't an external wound. This is magic thing. very strange magic thing. So Gaius needs some privacy immediately. 

  
"Arthur. Okay Arthur. I got it. And I have to investigate thoroughly about that. As you know this is not a normal thing right? Well it's about magic. Magic you know. So could you please go out and get me some time?"  
  
°Arthur dumbfounds and stops his rattling.

  
°"Ah. Yes. But Can't I stay here? just until he's okay?"

  
°"He will be okay My Lord. You can't stay here. I really need some privacy. Alright?"

  
°"Can you promise me he'll be alright? He's not going to die?"

  
°"Yes. I can promise. So."  
°  
"So…"

Arthur looks down at Merlin's face for the last time with full of concerns and walks backward to the door unwillingly, looking at Gaius and Merlin's form on the cot rotatingly. Gaius can sighs heavily when Arthur closes the door from outside. This will be the long day for the old physician.  
  


* * *

 

"No Gaius. I'm not happening a girl."

  
•Merlin shouts back to Gaius and is scared more by his small girly voice. He sits up frighteningly on the cot and is groping himself all over his body. It's not like he didn't ever see curves and shapes of a girl but those things over himself is so strange and umfamiliar. When Merlin touches something soft and extras on his upper body he releases them immediately and shockingly.

  
•Gaius just takes a look at Merlin and resumes his reading as if nothing is special.

  
•"You should look yourself in the mirror. It's not that bad Merlin compared with death. What do you know about that witch? What kind or where she came from? or what spell she used? Tell me something useful Merlin. I've been searching aimlessly in the sea of possibilities before you got consciousness back."

  
•"I think I didn't know anything. It was happening so fast. like a dream. Arthur was chasing that beast and it turned out that witch and she hit at Arthur with something and I ran toward there. yeah may be I'm still in this dream now. All are dream right Gaius?"

  
•"No Merlin. It's not a dream. You're a girl now and Arthur has been wanting to know about you. You have to meet and tell him you are okay. He's been worrying for you."

  
•"Noooo Gaius. I can't meet with him like that. You just tell him I'm okay and can't meet him for some reason. Please Gaius. We'll find a cure soon right? I can't be the laughing stock for Arthur. Help me Gaius."

  
•"Too late Merlin. Arthur knew you don't die and he wants to meet you. I believe he won't laugh at you. And I've planned for your present condition. Gwen will come and fetch you."

  
•Merlin yells "For what?"

  
•"A girl isn't supposed to dress like you."

  
•Merlin can't be more suprised and shocked since he was born. He puts his fingers in his hair to scatch.

  
•"Oh my Godd. My hair."

  
•"Yeah Merlin it's so long and black."

  
•Merlin falls down on the cot and thinks that death is less ashamed than now. He should have died peacefully and gracefully.  
  
• Merlin doesn't know anymore what has been happening since Gwen brought him toward Morgana's room. He also doesn't know that which one made him more uncomfortable in Gwen's suprise when she saw him and Morgana's smirk when he and Gwen arrived before her. Two ladies look like they've got the newest and most amazing toy to fuss for. Merlin tries to think that he's just a paper doll and everything will be ended up soon.

•"You should watch yourself in the mirror Merlin. Havn't you looked yet?"

When Morgana asks Merlin just nods back.

•"Wow. What a waste. You're so beautiful Merlin. If I didn't know you were Merlin and were a man I would have banished you from Camelot. Because you're more beautiful than me. Ha Ha."

•"Yes Merlin. She's right."

Gwen agrees with her lady. Merlin doesn't want to know or intrest in his girly look. All he's thinking is that What reaction could he get from Arthur and his friends. They would laugh and mock at him endlessly. Merlin sighs heavily.

•"Okay Merlin. I thinks it's almost finished. Go and meet with your king in the meeting room. He's been waiting for you since the whole day. Go Merlin. We don't follow with you."

•Merlin just nods and stands up and walks to the door. He doesn't want to know What Morgana and Gwen are whispering behind his back. All the way to the meeting room is too long or too short today. Merlin thinks every passing by is staring at him and he's feeling so transperent. Merlin prays that everyone can't recognize him as Merlin. When he arrives at meeting room's door Merlin knocks slowly, his heart is beating fast.

•"Who?"

  
"Merlin"

  
"Oh Merlin. Come in."

•Merlin thinks he can't be in more awkward situation than now. Arthur isn't alone. The knights are with him. Merlin slowly enters in the room, putting his head down toward the floor.

• The sound of silence is loudly roaring in Merlin's ears. He doesn't dare to head up.

•"Oh You're really Merlin?"

Gwaine's voice is the first to break the ice. Merlin nods his head without making eyes contact to anyone. The voice of amazing from other knights are following up.

•"Merl…Merlin"

Arthur is so shocked to see his manservant form. He can't believe this girl is Merlin. This beautiful form. All pink and flowery and soft. Merlin heads up slowly and looks at Arthur's direction. When Merlin's eyes meet with his Arthur's mouth is going agape. This girl's face is Merlin's but is smoother and not square. Her hair is raven black like Merlin but so long and wavy. Arthur's staring at Merlin incautiously. Merlin's wanting to cry now. He knows his former lanky and thin figure is how lame and ugly he would be as a girl. The unshed tears are full in Merlin's eyes.

•"I…I know you will be so shocked to see me like that. I didn't die but I've happened as a girl. I don't know which is worse in being died or this. I just wanted to tell you I'm alive and you don't have to concern for me anymore. Gaius will find a way for me soon. If…If you don't want your manservant like this you you better call for new servant. I I'm going now."

Speaking of, Merlin turns back to door and is straing to run away.

•"Noooo Merlin. I want you."

Arthur yells at Merlin suddenly before he knows what he said. Merlin turns around to look back at Arthur unbelievingly what he heard from his king. They're looking into each other eyes dumfoundedly. Tension in the air is thicker with the time is passing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

"I mean Ahamm. I mean"  
  
Arthur clears his throat and Merlin doesn't dare to blink an eyelash.  
  
"Well I mean why should I sack you even you've saved me. You're going to get your self soon. I know. Why Merlin? You're trying to be lazy on your job. You think you could avoid your job with that way right? No Merlin. Whether You're a girl or an idiot you still have to do your chores. Understand? Okay?"  
  
"Ah okay. okay. I understand."  
  
Merlin feels relief and replys back awkwardly, saying 'prat' under his breath.  
  
"Well then why don't you sit on the chair and tell us about everything Merlin."  
  
Speaking of, Arthur pulls the chair for Merlin, he doesn't know himself that he's doing so. Merlin is amazed by Arthur's manner but he just sits on the chair and pretends as if he doesn't aware of that. As soon as Merlin sits down all knights are trying to ask about something and everything. Merlin tries to manage to answer all of them. And he's also trying to not freak out with his feminie voice himself.  
•

When his knights are asking to Merlin all Arthur is doing is staring at Merlin with slightly opened mouth. He still half can't believe this girl is his clumsy and lanky manservant Merlin. Why can a few slight changes make that shockingly change? just longer hair and a bit round face can make that transformation. Those sapphire eyes are Merlin's. Those long and thick eyelashes are Merlin's. Those now talking pink and plump lips are also Merlin's. Nothing changed. This girl is beautiful. Still beautiful. Like Merlin. 'WAIT'. That means Merlin's beautiful. 'NO'. Merlin isn't beautiful. But he's beautiful now and is similar with Merlin.  
•  
"NOO"  
•  
Arthur's internal crisis in his head is falling out as a real voice. Merlin hears it and snaps his head back to look at Arthur.  
  
"What?"

  
"Nothing"  
  
Arthur deadpans so Merlin turns back to conversation. Arthur pretends like interesting but fails when he sees that Gwaine is touching and teasing at Merlin's face and hair and everything.  
  
"Stop it Gwaine. 'M not a toy. I'm still Merlin."  
  
Gwaine is laughing loudly at Merlin's cute protest. Arthur can't stand it anymore.  
  
"Ahamm. That should be enough. I think Merlin needs to rest well. So Merlin. I give you a day off today. But from tomorrow morning you have to do your works as usual. Go rest Merlin. That's all."  
•  
"Thank you sire."  
•  
Merlin really thanks Arthur for that. He really needs to rest and think about his situation. He says goodbye to all knights and runs quickly toward his quarter. He doesn't know how to start tomorrow but he wants to sleep and forget everything for a while. Who would know that when he wake up tomorrow he could get his true self back again.  
•

* * *

  
•  
Merlin's hope and wish aren't fulfilled at next morning. Although he hopefully checks over his body all are still on him like yesterday even the main organ. Merlin feels distressd and sighs heavily. It's still early to get up and he wants to sleep back. But Merlin knows he should get up before Gwen and Morgana get and mess up on him. Merlin get up quickly and take his an old outfit. He amends it to fit in his present form. He can't wear the pinky dress like yesterday anymore. If he does his chores with that dress it would be a rag soon. As soon as he finishes his sewing work Merlin wears it, ties his hair up and go quickly to Arthur's chamber. The familiar outfit makes him a little bit comfortable more.

"Rise and Shine Sire."

When he hears a girl voice instead of Merlin's usual Arthur wakes up with jolt. What he sees is a beautiful girl but Merlin because she's wearing like Merlin. But she is a girl. Arthur tries hard to remember about yesterday.

"Merlin?"

"Yes Sire. I'm still Merlin. Ah I don't like to wear like yesterday. So yeah."

"Yeah. It's okay. Do your works as you usually works. Breakfast?"

"Yes. Breakfast."

When Merlin goes to fetch Arthur's breakfast Arthur is looking at Merlin's back uncomfortably. He is not okay with it. Merlin with dress isn't okay. Merlin with Merlin's outfit isn't more okay. Merlin's shaped figure in those tunic and trousers and even a neckershief is so strange. Strangely beautiful. Arthur scratches and fusses his sclap and hair distractingly. Merlin doesn't know what Arthur's thinking and feeling now. He does carefully his works as normal as he can.

  
'Please be right your original back quickly Merlin.'

  
Arthur whispers himself he's staring at Merlin's movements unblinkingly while Merlin's doing innocently his chores.


	3. Chapter 3

 

It's been over a week now. Gaius still can't find the right cure for Merlin. Merlin always woke up stressfully every morning of the week. If he'd say that he's getting used to with his new life it'd be a lie. But he can say that he's staring to adjust with it. Merlin could handle about Gwen and Morgana and other knights. Morgana wants to beautify Merlin so she always tried to get Merlin by Gwen every morning. So Merlin has been always trying to get and go to his work eariler than Gwen arrives. It's still okay and He can avoids till now.

The other annoying things are that teasing from his knight friends who know he was boy Merlin and flirting from many men who don't know who he was. There aren't many people who know about his situation. One exception is Gwaine. Even though he knows Merlin is Merlin he does both teasing and flirting. But Merlin can still avoids from all of them. The most distracting thing is about Arthur. Merlin can't avoid Arthur because it's obvious he's his manservant.

The first work day after he's a girl was so awkward. Arthur wasn't like Arthur. He tried as less talking as with Merlin and when he did he stammered. And so did Merlin. In second day Arthur refused to let Merlin to undress him. He excused that the aromur are too heavy to lift for a girl. And also refused to bath him. In another days when sometimes Merlin suddenly entered into Arthur's chamber without a knock and Arthur was naked or half naked Arthur ran and hid behind the screen frighteningly. This was so annoying and distracting for Merlin because it's not like Merlin didn't ever see Arthur in that way and Merlin didn't know why his heart was pounding in his heart at those time.

* * *

 

Today is just another day but not like yesterday because Merlin woke up so early as usual but Gwen arrives earlier than that.

"Good Morning Merlin."

When he hears Gwen's greeting Merlin was shocked with a jolt. He knows today will be the death of him. He follows after Gwen to Morgana's chamber to die calmly.

"Hi Merlin. You've been missing in these days."

Merlin knows the smirk on Morgana's face is not good for him.  
Merlin closes his eyes and sighs heavily to calm himself. All he can does is keep calm and let them do what they want to do.

* * *

 

Arthur doesn't know he's looking forward to Merlin will arrives his chamber at every morning or not. He doesn't like the malfunctions of his beahviors and even in his heart whenever Merlin was near him. May be he isn't getting used to with Merlin as a girl. May be just because it makes him distracted and uncomfortable. But the most things he doesn't like is that why he was flustering and his heart was fluttering around Merlin. Arthur really doesn't like them himself. Arthur thought once that if it'd be good he gets new servant and sends Merlin to Morgana for other girly works until Merlin gets his true self. But that thought were ruined at every morning he saw Merlin's face. Also today he's not quite sure why he got up that early for what.

When the door is opened with bang Arthur sits up jumpily on his bed. Merlin stroms in the room without looking at Arthur's direction. He set the breakfast tray down on the table and sits on the floor and put his head down on his knees.

"Merlin? What are you doing?"

Merlin doesn't hear him. Arthur stands and walks slowly toward Merlin. When he's near he knows that Merlin's crying as Merlin's back is shivering.

"Merlin are you crying? for what?"

Merlin hears his king this time. When Merlin slowly gets his head up what Arthur sees is that Merlin is so beautiful even with the tears are full in his eyes. Pinky flowers wearth on his head. some colours on his eyelids and jucy pink on his plump lips. Merlin's so beautiful like an angel. Arthur can't avert his gaze on Merlin. Even those tear stains are like the dazzling on his cheeks.

"What happened to you Merlin? Tell me."

Arthur asks tenderly. Merlin exhales slowly and gazes back at Arthur.

"Morgana made me like this. I'm so ashamed. Embrassed. As you see I'm so strange and bizzare and I felt like every passing by from my way were looking at me and mocking behind my back. When I passed the yard the one knight who doesn't know about me told me that 'Can I get you a date?'. I'm so embrassed Arthur."

"What!!! Who told you? You know his name? Morgana that evil."

"I don't know his name. I know Arthur I'd be ugly and lame but I'm still a human and not a laughing stock. I don't deserve that bullying."

"What? Who told you you're ugly. Wait. apparently you didn't ever see yourself right? You didn't look yourself in the mirror?"

"No. I didn't since the very first day. I'm so scared. I don't dare to do."

Arthur is so amazed and disbelieved.

"Then stand up and follow me Merlin."

Arthur goes to the mirror behind the screen. Merlin stands up and follows Arthur. When he arrives in front of the mirror Merlin shut closes his eyes. Arthur stands just behind Merlin.

"Open your eyes Merlin. You're not that coward. Look at yourself."

Arthur holds Merlin's face in his hands from behind. Merlin opens slowly his eyes. When he completely sees himself in the mirror Merlin's mouth is going agape like an 'O'. Arthur smiles at his manservant reaction.

"She's so beautiful." Merlin whispers. He can't believe this is him.

"Yes you're so beautiful." Arthur echoes.

"What?"

"I mean she's not ugly and beautiful and she's you so you're beautiful. "

Merlin stares into Arthur's eyes of reflection in the mirror. So does Arthur. They stare at each other for good minutes without blinking. Arthur urges slowly Merlin to turn around to face with him.

"Do you know now you're not ugly Merlin?"

Arthur asks Merlin, staring at Merlin's eyes and lips rotatingly. Merlin is still dumbfounded with too many emotions. Arthur holds Merlin's shoulders delicately and shakes them a little. Merlin can just nods. Arthur can't control himself what he's doing. His face is leaning to Merlin's. Like the invisible magnet is seducing him to do so. Merlin's knowing that Arthur's face is so close with his it's dangerous. The instinct of conscience hits him to the gut. It shouldn't and couldn't be.

"Ar…Arthur. Your breakfast will be cold."

Arthur is like being poured the ice over his head. He steps back quickly and shockingly.

"Ah yeah. yeah. breakfast. will be cold. Ah I think you're okay now. Do your work Merlin. well okay then."

Arthur turns around and walks quickly to the table while Merlin's is trying to calm his heart it's beating so fast like nearly bursting out from his chest. Actually Arthur's isn't any less as well. May be Arthur's is a little more. Everything is so hard when the heart is beating that fast.


	4. Chapter 4

 

After that incedence Merlin tries to keep distance between them. He pressures Gaius to search the cure out quickly. Merlin doesn't believe himself that if same accident like that would happen again he could avoid next time. He's starting to think thay his mind and heart are also included in this female changing. Because He can't see Arthur the same like before anymore. Sometimes when he saw Arthur in distance like Arthur was besting with his knights or counciling in the throne room Merlin saw some sparklings or twinklings over Arthur's head. Merlin knows it's not good or normal at all. So Merlin tries to avoid as distance much as he can with Arthur.

* * *

 

"Good Morning Arthur"

Arthur immediately knows that this voice isn't Merlin's.

"Guinevere?"

"Yes Sire."

"Why? Well Merlin is still busy for searching the answer with Gaius? right? Tell him he will be at the training ground this afternoon anyway. I'm not paying a servant for just idle. He's to do his job. That's all. You can leave now."

Guinevere bows her head and goes out. Arthur knows that he'd be a bit rude to her the one who has little affair with him before. But Arthur is too distracted for not seeing Merlin for days to care about her. Arthur knows Merlin has been avoiding him since that day. He's not quite sure if Merlin was scared or mad him. Whenever Merlin was near with him Merlin always gave him a reason and ran away. That made him more and more frustrated. It's really need to solve out between them. He has to meet with Merlin specifically.

* * *

 

When Merlin arrives at the training ground Arthur doesn't finished the section yet. He's training to the group of new knights. Under the afternoon sunlights Arthur's moving strongly back and forth with his swords. It's not that easy to move swiftly with those heavy chainmail and metal armour. Heaps of sweat are on Arthur's face like waterdrops. Merlin can't avert his gaze from Arthur's movements. It's not like he didn't ever see Arthur in this way.  
•  
'God help me. I saw that sparkling on his face again.'  
Merlin whispers himself and shakes his head.  
•

"Hey my lady. Long time no see. I've been missing and dreaming about you all nights."  
•

Merlin quakes when he suddenly hears Gwaine's voice in his left ear very closely.  
•

"Gwaine!!! How many time do I have to tell you I don't like to be called 'my lady'? You knows best that I'm Merlin. I'm a man. You know man hasn't those things you need to mess up right?"  
•

Gwaine laughs at Merlin's bandy words. He thinks it's kind of cute.  
•

"But you've those things right now?? I know you've. ha ha. Your curse isn't quite sure to get antidote. If you were be like that for ever don't worry Merlin I'll take you as my wife. I don't mind hmmm. You're more beautiful than every women from Camelot."  
•

"GWAINE!!!"  
•

Merlin yells loudly. Arthur hears Merlin's voice and turns to look at him. He sees Merlin and Gwaine.  
•

"What?? Aww don't be so shy Merlin. If you changed back to a man after we've married I won't mind at all. You're already beautiful even as a boy. I really don't mind."  
•

Gwaine is laughing loudly and pinches and squeezes Merlin's both cheeks with his hands.  
•

"GWAINE!!!"  
•

This time who yells loudly at Gwaine isn't Merlin. It's Arthur. Arthur strides to them so quickly.  
•

"Why you're idle in here. Go train your team Gwaine. They've got rest enough."  
•

"I know I know my king. I'll leave you your princess here."  
•

Gwaine smirks at Arthur and Merlin and goes away. Merlin doesn't dare to look at Arthur. He's so ashamed that if Arthur heard what Gwaine said.  
•

"What are you doing here Merlin? No one knows you're Merlin. Here is full of men and all are looking at you like a wolf looks at the meat. Show off isn't good for you."  
•

Merlin is getting angry.  
•

"Gwen told that you've ordered me to here. That's all."  
•

He replys back with gritted teeth. Arthur knows Merlin's right but he just can't help himself.  
•

"Well then bring my things and come with me to my chamber. I need a bath right now. You dodged your works lately."  
•

Arthur's walking quickly toward the castle without looking back at Merlin. Merlin's running to catch up with him, he's muttering grudgingly.  
•

* * *

 

When they arrive at Arthur's chamber they don't talk to each other at all. Merlin sets down the weapons on the table and helps Arthur to undress. Merlin didn't get the chance to undress Arthur since he's been a girl. Although this work was so familiar with him it's as if so new now. All armour and chainmail are taken off and Merlin's unfastening the lace of Arthur's tunic. Merlin's trying to not shake his fingers when he accidentally touches with Arthur's torso. Arthur's staring at Merlin motions, he's panting. Merlin doesn't look at up him at all makes him more frustrated. When Merlin's fingers touch his torso Arthur shivers.  
•

"Merlin"   
•Arthur calls Merlin whisperingly. Merlin put his head up to look at Arthur slowly. The long curl of fringes are faling over Merlin's eyes with his movement. Arthur can't help himself and take and put them behind Merlin's ears. Merlin gasps and shakes a little. The eyes of Merlin which are gazing back at Arthur's are so blue. big and incredibly beautiful.  
•

"Merlin"  
•

"What?" Merlin whispers back.  
•

"Since when you're so beautiful? Just after you're a girl. Or already beautiful even as a man?"  
•

"I really don't know. May be … may be you're wrong."  
•

"I'm not wrong. May be … may be I just didn't know that."  
•

Arthur's voice is feeble at the end. Arthur's hasn't any guts to resist left. Not especially when those blues eyes are looking at him innocently. Not when those pink plump lips are shaking. Merlin looks like a frightened bunny in the headlight. Arthur wants to protect that little to be scared for nothing.  
•

Arthur leans in and captures those shaking lips to still with his own firmly. What he gets back is the softest touch and sweetest taste he's ever got. Arthur loses control and chases for the more, holding Merlin's face in his hands. From just a chaste kiss to deep and intense ones. Merlin is so amazed and still. His eyes are going wide. His vision is blur and he saw the stars. He doesn't know what is happpening now first. And then  
'Arthur's kissing me.' sound is echoing in his head like bell's ringing.   
•

"Ar…Arthur. I'm Merlin. You know I'm Merlin?"  
•

Merlin asks Arthur breathlessly.  
•

"I know. I know. Of course You're Merlin."  
•

Arthur puntuates each word with a deep kiss, he's panting heavily. Although Merlin tries to control and protest, with those strong kisses, Merlin's knees are weak and his toes curl.   
•

"Arthur"   
•

That whispered calling is the last voice Merlin can manage to out. All of Merlin's guard are off and drifting in Arthur's passion. Finally Merlin gives in and kisses back willingly, he's hugging Arthur's waist tightly to not fall down. Merlin lets Arthur kisses every way what he wants to do. Arthur urges Merlin to open his mouth and Merlin does so. Arthur's tounge is everywhere in Merlin's mouth. Arthur licks and nips and nibbles at Merlin's lips and tounge insatibly. Merlin shivers and is thinking that it'd be what the bliss is.   
•

When he pulls back for the air Arthur still peppers quick pecks on all over Merlin's face. Arthur can't think any straight and all he knows is to own as much intimacy as he can get from Merlin. When Arthur reaches out to his neck Merlin leans back his head to get better access for Arthur. When the soft and warm touches are on his neck the only one thought in Merlin's mind is 'Damn the consequence.' .


	5. Chapter 5

 

'Merlin. Merlin. Merlin'

Arthur's muttering Merlin's name like breathing between kisses. He doesn't know how to stop it now. Arthur yanks and takes off Merlin's neckerchief and sucks and nuzzles at new discovered milky white. So soft. Arthur's hands are roaming over Merlin's hair, nape, shoulders, back and everything. Merlin is getting daze and lightheaded in Arthur's ministrations. He thinks he's drifting on the bliss. All he can does is letting Arthur to do whatever he want to do.

'Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.'

Merlin's moaning his name runs his blood to the certain place and makes Arthur encourages more. Arthur can't be content with just kissing anymore. He needs more. Arthur unfastens Merlin's tunic and takes off over his head and so does his tunic. And he turns Merlin to the bed and urges to walk backward without losing their bodies contact. When the back of his knees hit with the bed Merlin gets his consciousness back and opens his eyes suddenly. He tries to think and check what is happening right now. What he gets to know is that he's in only small clothes and so is Arthur and Arthur is trying to take off them too.

All blood in Merlin's veins are boiling and running toward his head and heart. Consternation and rationality come back to Merlin's mind. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. He's just a wrongly spelled girl. Not a real girl. Arthur's in the spur of moment and feels him as a girl. Not as a man. Not as real Merlin. He shouldn't take advantage of Arthur although he dying to be taken by Arthur.  
  
'What if he changed back as a man?'

'What if he'd never change back and would get all nature of a girl?'

'What if that could make him some inappropriate thing like pregnant?'

Arthur has to maintain his virginity and bloodline until he marries to his consort. No way. No way with a artificial girl like him should be the loss of Arthur's virginity.

"Stop it. Stop it Arthur. We can't be."

Merlin tries to manage to say but Arthur's too passionated with sucking at Merlin's shoulder blade to hear his voices. Merlin steals all of his power and yells.

"I told you STOP IT Arthur."

Arthur flinches and looks at Merlin confusingly, he's panting heavily.

"What Merlin?"

"Stop it. You know we can't be. shouldn't be. You're the king. You doesn't marry yet. I'm a servant. not a girl. a man. No way. There is no way between us. I'll be changed to a man at any time."

Merlin tries to explain and makes sense his reason.

"I don't care."

Arthur shakes his head and reaches out to carry Merlin.

"I said 'Stop'."

Merlin shouts and pushes Arthur away. He grabs one clothing on floor, wears it and runs outside from Arthur's chamber. That clothes is Arthur's tunic. Arthur freezes and daze and is left behind hunging on the edge.

* * *

 

"Gaius. Gaius. Help me please."

Merlin is running straight toward Gaius's quarter.

"What happened again Merlin?"

Gaius looks at Merlin and his eyebows frow when he sees Merlin's condition. Arthur's tunic can cover just over middle of Merlin's thighs.

"Don't ask me Gaius. I need the antidote right now. I can't live as a girl anymore. Please Gaius. Make with any possible way. I've to change."

Merlin begs Gaius petiously. Gaius sighs.

"I didn't find yet till now Merlin. More to be hard you doesn't remember anything about that witch and her curse. Tell me anything you remember Merlin. even the swear words."

Merlin sits down on the chair and tries to recognizes hard.

"I think I think she swore something. like 'Die disgracefully' and 'never be the king again.'."

"Well then I think she intended to curse Arthur to be a girl and die shamefully. You took in instead of him and you changed as a girl but you didn't die. It means your magic defends hers but not completely. So may be only magic can cure it. Have you tried with your magic?"

"Of course Gaius. But I think my magic was exchanged with my life at that time. It didn't works well."

"Then read some books and try again Merlin. I'll help you if you needed."

"Okay Gaius. I'll try my best. I really have to get my self."

* * *

 

After some minutes he's left behind alone Arthur also get his consicious back and he can be starting to think straight. He thinks he was so hurried and rough and made Merlin scared and mad. Of course whether Merlin is a real girl or not he should be slow and take time to do those things. Merlin deserves it. Merlin may be upset and afraid of him. Arthur thinks he made a bad move on Merlin. So he should apologizes and consoles Merlin to give him a second chance. Arthur can't stand on that edge anymore. He has to get Merlin anyway. A girl or a man Merlin is the first one he really wants to have and own in that way. Arthur's heart is swelled with his own thought. Arthur puts random clothes on quickly and runs after Merlin. He descries Merlin's running into the physician's quarter.

* * *

 

  


  
"It doesn't works well Gaius."

Merlin disspoints on his spell. His magic is obviously weak. He's tried so many spells now.

"Concerntrate Merlin. Don't be rush. I don't know what happened to you but you need to calm and be patient."

"Okay. Okay"

Merlin tries to concerntrate on his core. He tests his ability with his usual spell. He twists his hand and holds the book in the air. It still works well before it doesn't.

\--------

When he reaches at the door before Arthur knocks it he hears something strange conversation of Gaius and Merlin. Arthur changes his mind and stands and continues eavesdroping. All are strange. He can't relate anything. Merlin. Magic. Arthur pushes the door a little. The door isn't locked from inside. He looks inside from the slit. What the hell is that. The book is flying in the air. Merlin's twisting his hand around. His eyes is golden colour. Merlin isn't Merlin he knows. All things are clicked in their right and Arthur opens the door with a bang.

"Merlin"

Merlin stratles and the book in the air is going fall down on the floor.

"Ar… Arthur. Arthur. I can explain."

"What do you explain? What? You have magic. Is it? You has been lying to me all the time. You liar. You changed yourself as a girl and pretending like you saved me. You seduced me with your beauty and took my feeling for you. What is next Merlin? Kill me? Or more than that? What did I do wrong to you Merlin? You actually want to do is what?…"

"No Arthur. Stop it. Don't insult me this way. You're wrong. Yes I've magic but I used it only for you Arthur. I didn't ever do any harms to you. I saved your life with that magic. You had no idea.…"

"Of course I'd no idea. I have still no idea. You know Camelot has no place for magic. You. I thought the closest person for me has magic and you's lied. I can't believe Merlin. I don't believe in you anymore. Go. Go away. I don't want to see your face anymore. Get lost from my sight. Or I don't know what I'd do to you."

"No Arthur. I can't. I can't leave you alone. I've to protect you. I… I"

"I said GO AWAY Merlin."

Arthur yells at Merlin. Massive tears are falling down from Merlin's eyes. Merlin can't believe everything are happening that fast. He looks at Arthur with teary eyes for the last time and flees away to nowhere his legs carry him. Gaius is amazed and Arthur is closing his eyes and they are left behind. 

(I'm sorry I didn't know there was some paragraph left. I've added them now. How can I fill the inconvinence of some readers who have read before???) 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

 

After some time like ages Arthur exhales heavily and slowly opens his eyes. Gaius is still in front of him.

"You've already known Gaius? Why?"

Gaius sighs and one of his eyebows is lifted.

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me about that. About him. I believed in you. And him. Why could you do that to me?"

"What My Lord? You also want me to get lost? or punish me? It's okay My Lord. You can"

"No Gaius. I won't do. You know what I feels. betrayed. cheated. I'm sad. I hurt Gaius. Betraying on trust is so bad. Betraying on trust by the person I believe in most is the worst."

"I've no word Sire. All I can say is that Merlin didn't do any evil things on you. He never lied to you apart from his magic. He always protect you with his magic and his life. You'll understand one day."

Arthur doesn't reply any back. He's got too much emotions in such a short time. Everything was happening so fast. The one he trust went away. The feeling he treasured was destroyed. Arthur walks away from the physician quarter unconsciously. Everything is like a dream. He wishes he wake up very soon.

* * *

 

Arthur gazes into nowhere in the air and all the thoughts in his mind is going to the certain one. The trace of sweetness and wetness are still tingling on his lips. Arthur is tracing his lips with fingers absent mindedly.

"Arthur"

"Merlin?"

As soon as he hears a girly voice Arthur's instinct immediately thinks Merlin. It's just two days after Merlin was disappeared. What's wrong with him.

"Why should be Merlin? Didn't you banish him away, did you? What? Are you starting to regret it?

Morgana's sarcastic words make him angry.

"What are you coming here for Morgana? Short to the point. I'm not that free."

"Of course you're not. Well then where is Merlin? Where he ran away?"

"I don't know."

"You cold blood evil. You know best why he suffered that way. He could have died. He didn't any slightest care his life to save you. What he got back?? Hmmm!! Lived shamefully as a girl and then was banished away like a stray dog. just because he's magic. You're not any less with your father, Arthur. I thought you're different. I was wrong."

"Stop it and get out Morgana. Though you're an high princess I won't give you exception. Insulting the King is kind of treason."

"Of course your majesty. I'll go. Oh so poor Merlin."

Morgana goes out and closes the door with a bang. Arthur closes his eyes and exhales his breath to calm himself. He doesn't know what are on his mind now. Everything is so complicated and bewildering. Arthur stands up from the chair and stroms out to the traing ground. Restless and hard works may cure his mind.

* * *

 

"Arthur. Did I hear wrong? Merlin was expelled? Why?"

As soon as he arrives at the ground Gawine strides toward Arthur and asks him continuously. Arthur doesn't know why Gawine know that. He didn't say a word about that.

"I havn't seen him for two days and went to Gaius to ask. Gaius said those nonsense things. Isn't is true Arthur? Why should you shused him away? We all know he's saved your life."

Why everyone from everywhere is so concerned about Merlin. Arthur sighs and stares at Gwaine. Gwaine is starring and frowning back at him, crossing his arms. Arthur sighs again. Gwaine is his bravest and finest knight. He's so loyal but Arthur thinks Gwaine's loyality is more on Merlin than him. Arthur doesn't want to start to say it again. But he's to say and explain. Gwaine is listening at him carefully. When Arthur finishes his explanation

"Wow. You're such an idiot Arthur. Sorry My Lord. But not sorry. And plus I can't believe you're that blunt Arthur. I thought you'd know some strange about Merlin since before. I didn't know he's magic but it's that obvious Merlin's something special. But anyway why should you could do that to him? I really can't understand."

"There is no place for magic in Camelot Gawine."

"You're not Uther. You're the king now. You can create those places in here."

"But I don't want to"

"Yeah you don't. I was so overrated of you."

"Stop it Gwaine. It's enough. You can't be talk to me like that."

"Why? I'm not Merlin. I can't be suffered for someone who doesn't value my price. I want to know where is Merlin now?"

"May be he was going to Elador."

"What if he wasn't? You know Arthur? Merlin is a girl now. Not just a girl. Very very beautiful one. I think you know it very well. What if he has been wandering around in the woods? What if he met with strangers or bandits or perverts? Who would know he's a man? You should have thought."

Gwaine's words are running and hitting at Arthur's heart. Arthur grips the sword in his hand tightly. He didn't think it at all. Arthur turns around and is starting to walk away.

"Where are you Arthur?"

"Gaius's"

* * *

 

"I don't know Arthur. Start from that day I didn't see any shadow of Merlin."

"Could he go to Elador?"

"I don't think so. He might not want his mother to know about him."

"Then where could he go?"

"I can't guess Sire. He wasn't in his sanity at that time. He may be wandering around."

"Anyway he's magic so he could protect himself right?"

"It was right but not now. His magic is going so weak after that accident. He exchanged his magic with your life. his gender with his life. The same magic that has saved your life again and again. My poor kid couldn't protect himself anymore."

The lump comes up in Arthur's throat. Blood veins in his head are running toward the temple. He closes his eyes and grips the edge of the nearest table to not fall down. Helpless, powerless, weaponless and so beautiful like an angel girl is alone in the middle of nowhere. What have he done to Merlin? The one who so loyal to him. The one who sacrifices his life to protect him. The one who he …… . Arthur opens his eyes and is running outside fastly.

"Where are you going Arthur?"

Gaius shouts after him.

"I have to go. I have to find him Gaius. He's not getting in any harms."

 

* * *

 

Gwaine sees that Arthur's on the horse and riding toward the citadel gate. Gwaine yells

"What are you doing Arthur?"

"I'm going to find Merlin."

"Whoaaa. You're not going alone Arthur. It's dangerous. I'll go with you.

"I've no time Gwaine. If you want to go follow after me with some knights."

Arthur shouts and doesn't look back. Worrying inside is buring in his heart.

\-------


	7. Chapter 7

 

Merlin's been wandering around in the woods. He didn't know himself where he were going and running. He was just running and not looking back. The hurt in his heart was too deep and strong to care about anything. He didn't want his mother to see and know him like that. After all this time all he's done to Arthur was ended up as nothing and he was banished away from his destiny. It hurts a lots. His feet were starting to bleed it hurts but his heart was more. His clothes was torn. He was running like for all day long till he couldn't run anymore. Finally at night when he couldn't see any light to go forward Merlin fell down on the ground tiredly. He was crying continuously and helpessly until he fell asleep.

When he woke up it was an early morning. His whole body was so hurt and and cold and he was hungry. Merlin checked his surronding and saw a stream and some fruity trees. Merlin heard some small sweet voices. Aww they were from early birds and small animals like bunnies and squirrels. Merlin had to smile even he still hurted. He tried to stand and walk to the stream. Merlin put water in the bowl of his palm and drank and cleaned his face. He felt a little fresh. He didn't know where was this place. But it seemed like a bit safe and clear. Merlin decided to stay at here for a while until he knew where to go.

* * *

 

Aimless searching is such a waste. Arthur has been riding around all day long and his horse is so tired now. He still can go but his horse can't and needs full rest. Merlin is still nowhere to find. Arthur takes off from the horse and walks along with it. He descries the stream at distance and goes to there. He gets his horse to drink water and so does he. After moments he rested Arthur hears some strange voice like crooning and he listens carefully. It's not that far from him. Arthur walks and searches toward that voice inch by inch. It's from behind lilac shrubs. When nearer that voice is clear as like giggling. Arthur approaches closely behind and looks over it.

What he's seeing makes him breathless. It's a girl. A very beautiful girl. The tunic she wears can covered just over middle of her milky white thigh. She is feeding and patting many small animals. Some are playing around her like they aren't afraid of her and she also is one of their kinds. purple and white flowers from lilac shrubs are blooming all around the clearing. Their smell are spreading with the evening breeze. The sound of small birds are ringing. Colourful butterflies are flying over her head. All are so beautiful like an alive drawing. That girl is the most beautiful among all and she's not any girl but Merlin. Arthur's heat is swelled with massive flow of affection.

Arthur pads silently toward Merlin but it doesn't work well because he steps on the dry leave and it make him obvious.

"Ar… Arthur."

Merlin turns to look at the cracking voices and he sees it's Arthur. He's so shocked and shuddered. Merlin eyes are going wide and he stands up. Arthur doesn't know what he's to do next. He's looking at Merlin unconsciously. When Merlin's starting to run away Arthur's consciousness comes back to him.

"Oh No Merlin. Don't run. I don't do anything to you. I came to find you. Stop Merlin."

Merlin can't think straight and is running forward. Arthur is chasing after him. Small animals around Merlin are running away all directions frighteningly. Running of Merlin trips with some roots and is going fall down on the ground. So Arthur catchs up with Merlin. Merlin flinches and looks at Arthur fearfully. Arthur can't say or explain anything to that scared little. He can't help himself and embraces tightly Merlin in his arms. Firstly Merlin is amazed and still and then Merlin slowly understands the condition. He gives in and get into that embrace.

Arthur lost count how much time he's been embracing Merlin. When Merlin tries to pull away Arthur releases him a little and looks at him. Merlin is looking back at Arthur coyly.

"You're not going to arrest me or head off and kill…"

Arthur stops Merlin's mouth with his fingers. He doesn't want to hear those harsh words.

"No. I'm here to bring you back."

"And then?"

"Accept you as you are."

Merlin can't believe his ears. He grins widely and it warms Arthur's heart. Arthur stands up and gives his hand Merlin to stand up. Merlin takes Arthur's hand and stands up but he can't.

"Ah Ahh!"

"Oh My God."

Merlin's ankles is swollen and red.

"Don't move. Don't move Merlin. I'll help you."

Speaking with an action Arthur carries Merlin from the legs and neck swiftly. Merlin is amazed and makes Oh noise. Arthur smiles fondly at him.

"Point me where to go Merlin. You needs to heal this."

Merlin point out the little hut liked place she's made and stays. Arthur carries him to there and put him down on the grass sheet. He holds and checks Merlin's wound carefully. Merlin is looking at Arthur unbelievingly. Arthur looks back at Merlin and give him a big smile. Merlin smiles back at Arthur. Arthur surges forward and captures that smile with his lips. Merlin loses balance and fall down with the back. Arthur follows and hovers over him.

"Ar… Arthur. What are you doing?"

"Finishing the thing I've started."

"Oh God. You're searching me for that purpose?? Unbelievable Arthur."

"Yeah sort of. You was driving me crazy and leaving me on the edge of cliffhunger. It's unfair Merlin."

Arthur kisses Merlin slowly. Merlin tries to pull away.

"But you know that I was a man and can be changed back anytime?"

"Yeah I know of course. Who care?"

"But I know you've to maintain your bloodline till you marry with your consort. What if. What if I've full of girly nature and got… got preg…pregnant?"

"Oh it'll be good. I'll marry you as my consort then."

Merlin is amazed.

"Don't talk that easy Arthur. I can't . I can't. You can't…"

"Shut up or I'll make you Merlin. I'll have you know that I know everything. Magic. Man. Girl. Anything. I just want you. I need you so bad. Merlin just let me. Hmm! Let me Merlin. Please"

Merlin's looking at Arthur's face unblinkingly. He nods tentatively and whispers.

"My ankel hurts."

"I'll take care of you Merlin."

Merlin closes his eyes and decides to let Arthur for everything.

"Where were we Merlin?"

"I think here."

Merlin touches and points out his shoulder blade. Arthur reaches out there and is starting to kiss it slowly. Merlin thinks everything is starting to be fine now.


	8. Chapter 8

 

It's not like He never knew or saw what or how a girl body would be. But This is new. New and so excited. It's not a random beautiful girl. A girl who he's already known yet he never knows as well. It's a mistery. It's an enigma. Strange yet beautiful enigma He'd really love to solve. It's Merlin. Arthur lifts Merlin's tunic up slowly. Seeing Merlin's shape in his night tunic is something special and intimate. Taking this same tunic off is like unfolding the ribbon of precious bundle with the fluttered heart of 'what it woud be' 'what it would be'. Arthur can't control his hands to not shake. The tunic is taken off over Merlin's head. Merlin is all milky white and soft and tender. Some deep scars are like tatoos on that flawless skin. When Arthur touches one of scars Merlin gasps the air.

"You will tell me which scar was when and how you got Merlin."

Arthur whispers and kisses one. Merlin just nods, he's closing his eyes. Under the orange beams of twilight enter from outside Merlin's all undressed body is like a golden godness sculpture. Flawless, curves and shapes. Arthur sits up and savors the scene fondly. Merlin opens his eyes when he thinks why Arthur is so silent and his touches are missed.

"Oh Arthur!! What are you doing?"

Merlin flinches and he's not quite sure where and which part to cover with his hands and flusters and flutters. Arthur's grabs Merlin's hands in his and holds over his head.

"Don't don't Merlin. It's so beautiful. You're so beautiful. Let me savor it once."

Merlin bites his lower lip and says with low air.

  
"It's not fair I'm the only one like this in two of us."

"Yes. Oh My God. Yes. You're right."

Arthur thinks this is the fastest time record he's ever got for undressing himself. Merlin chukcles at Arthur's action until he can't do when Arthur's finished and lowers down on him. It's not like he never saw naked Arthur. But it's different this time. Every before wasn't related with him. This time is related with anf deticated to him only. All skin on skin contact makes both of them gasp the air and shudder. Arthur's kissing Merlin's opened mouth adoringly and Merlin welcomes it with same passion and devotion. Arthur really comes up with his promise of he'll take care of Merlin. This time is not rush nor rough. all are slow, taking time, tender and passionated like they have all the time of the world. Merlin thinks he's drifting in the tidal wave of bliss. Arthur thinks he's floating over flow of ethereal and delicate flowers.

Rythms of high and low of their chests from heavy breathing, the beats of their hearts and the movements between their bodies are harmonious like the endless and sweetest rhapsody.   
high and low.  
nice and slow.

'Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.'

  
Merlin's muttering Arthur's name like breathing.  
Merlin thinks he could be fainting at anytime, he's panting. Merlin's hugging Arthur's back tightly like it's the last thing to rely for his life as if he's afraid of drowning if he didn't. Arthur tries Merlin to calm and soothe with kisses on everywhere he can reaches between movements.They lose count how much time they've spent and are making. When it reach to the climax of the bliss Arthur puts his head between Merlin's neck and shoulder and holds Merlin's tightly. So does Merlin.

'Merlin. Merlin. Be Mine. You're mine.'

Arthur is babbling continuously.  
Finally Arthur is going collapse over Merlin. And then Arthur tries to lifts his body up and lies beside Merlin, holding and lifting Merlin over his chest. After some moments Arthur reaches out to Merlin's face. He puts Merlin's fringes aside and kisses the sweaty forhead of his tired little.

"Merlin. My Merlin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Merlin."

Merlin opens his eyes and looks up at Arthur.

"For what?"

"Everything. Everything I'd done to you. Everything you'd done for me. I'm really sorry."

Merlin smiles and kisses at Arthur's chin.

"I'm sorry too Arthur. I've lied to you."

Arthur embraces Merlin tightly and dearingly.

"It's okay. It's okay now Merlin."

"I'm sorry for taking your virginity Arthur."

Arthur looks at Merlin and smiles.

"Wasn't it the same with you? I also take yours too right? It was worth it."

Arthur stokes and caresses Merlin's arms soothingly.

"But I'm not a real girl. I don't think it was worth it."

Merlin sighs and exhales. Arthur lifts Merlin chin up with his fingers and stares into Merlin's eyes.

"Listen Merlin. Do you think I didn't ever think about this once? I've known that from the very start and still know it. I know you're not a girl and could be changed back to a man. And now where I'm? Beside you. With you. And we've made this together right?"

Arthur makes vague gesture between them. When Merlin is blushing and going crimson Arthur chuckles and kisses his forhead fondly.

"If antidote couldn't find at all I'll marry you and make you my consort. You've taken my virginity. You've to take responsibility Merlin."

Merlin startles and looks at Arthur jumpily.

"What are you talking Arthur. You can't say that. It's not right way."

"What is right then? I want to marry who I want to marry so I'll marry who I want to marry."

"But. But. What if I got my self back after … after that?"

Arthur pulls a face and winks at Merlin.

"I don't mind. I think I'll be okay with it too and you've magic."

"What does that mean?"

"You change yourself as a girl for some time when it needs for public with your magic. Who would know you're Merlin? You can be my queen as well as my manservant at the same time."

"Oh My God. How wise of you Arthur. Unbelievable!!"

Merlin is amazed and gaping like a fish on the land. Arthur laughs at Merlin's expression.

"Let's sleep my lady. We have all the time to discuss about it. Come here."

Arthur pulls Merlin on him, covers his pendragon cape over both of them and embraces Merlin's middle in his arms warmly. Merlin still wants to protest and explain how much nonsense Arthur's plan is. But he is really tired and Arthur's cocoon is too comfy and cozy to against it. He embraces Arthur back and get into warmth.

"Good night Merlin." Arthur kisses Merlin's temple.

"It's still not even a night prat. Good evening"

Merlin kisses back Arthur's chin. They fall asleep quickly and contently together. Smell of lilac flowers over the breeze lulles on two lovers.

Night will fall anon.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Morning will welcome these two lovebirds soon.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Morning is arriving at the green hut with its rays and breeze. Early sunshine is warm and light. The crows of small birds are chirping in the air. also the cheeps of small animals. The babble of the stream is like a ringing chime. When Arthur gradually woke up with those natural songs he regards where and why he is here and smiles to himself, he's still closing his eyes. The warmth bundle in Arthur's arms reminds him that he's with the one who he treasures, Merlin. Arthur pulls this warmth closer to him and strokes Merlin's hair. The touch Arthur got back is something he awares. Arthur reaches out second time and caresses Merlin's hair carefully. It's not like he remembers before. Arthur opens his eyes.

Arthur can't believe his eyes. He rubs them and look carefully again. Arthur's eyes are going wide.

"Merlin" "Merlin"

Merlin hears Arthur's calling his name. Merlin remembers all about yesterday affair and smiles at the memory. He moves closer into Arthur's arms.

"Merlin"

When he hears Arthur's voice again Merlin opens his eyes and looks into Arthur's with concern. Merlin sees and knows something strange in Arthur's eyes. The rationality and natural instinct get him and Merlin's shocked and stratles.

"Ar…Arthur. What what's wrong? I… me… Is it real what I think? Am I?"

Even the voice. Merlin reaches to his hair and face and he also feels something amiss. shorter and sharper. Arthur nods his head to confirm Merlin's doubt.

"Oh My Goddd!"

Merlin is so shocked like he's burning and tries to jump. Arthur snatches Merlin's shoulders and keeps him still.

"No Merlin. No. Don't be afraid. Don't run away. It's okay. I told you I'll be okay."

When Arthur sees Merlin is still afraid and flusters the pity, kindness and fondness in his heart is rising. Arthur grabs Merlin's face and kisses him deeply. As he didn't think it's coming Merlin's amazed and still and then he understand Arthur's meaning and kisses back immediately. Everything is still the same. soft, sweet and passionated. When the tears of joy in Merlin's eyes are falling down Arthur stops kissing and rubs them with his fingers. Merlin keeps Arthur's fingers with his.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Arthur. I can completely understand whatever you do. I know you're not even into men."

"Yeah you're right. I'm not. But how about I want to hmmm!!"

Merlin stares at Arthur. Those staring eyes are still wide, blue and so beautiful. Those shaking lips are still pink, plump and irresistable. Those hair are shorter but still soft and black. The little different is that the high and sharper cheekbones. Arthur stares back at Merlin and stokes these cheekbones.

"still beautiful. so beautiful Merlin. I won't change a word of mine."

"But. But. You didn't . I didn't know and see before you thought that way on me."

"May be I didn't remark and understand myself."

"How how about your relationship with Gwen?"

"Stop the nonsense questions and tell me what you think why you got your self back?"

Merlin considers a moments and the blink clicks in his mind.

"I think…I think because of what we've done yesterday. May be."

Arthur grins and then is laughing.

"Well if I knew thing could works this way I would have done this already very before Merlin. ha ha. Your antidote is my pleasure. I could have helped you again and again. ha ha"

Arthur is laughing continuously and when he sees Merlin's blushing he kisses Merlin because he wants to. Merlin is going calm and release anxeity gradually. They embraces each other and fall asleep again.

* * *

 

 

When they woke up again at late morning Merlin brings Arthur to the meadow. His ankel still hurts but Arthur supports beside him to walk. When Merlin arrives at the clearing of yesterday he makes a voice.

"What's that Merlin?"

"You will know."

Small animals like rabbits, squirrels and deer are rising from everywhere and coming toward to Merlin. They're moving closer and are nuzzling to Merlin. Merlin is patting them back. The sound of Merlin's giggling is chiming. Arthur's staring at Merlin amazingly, he's smiling like a fool. Arthur knew that Merlin has a big heart but didn't know that tender and beautiful.

"Arthur are you hungry? please crop some fruits for me. Here, here and there."

Merlin points to the fruity trees and berry bushes which he ever took and ate. Arthur goes and takes as Merlin told.

"Feed them yourself. Be gentle Arthur. They are so small and so their hearts are."

Arthur does carefully. When some bunnies take and eat from his hand Arthur smiles and chuckles with joy in his heart.

"Now You know they're too small to hunt right?"

Arthur makes a fake glare at Merlin and nods his head tentatively.

"Don't feel so smug Merlin."

Merlin giggles. They're feeding animals and are eating some fruits together with comfortable silence. Arthur looks at Merlin oftenly and he's just feeling happiness. Merlin's a complete man now but still delicate and beautiful like he was a girl. Arthur's gaze falls on the edge of his night tunic on Merlin. The flawless and milky white thigh under the white and thin night shirt. Arthur swallows his own spit. Then Arthur regards something and alerts.

"Merlin. What do you think your… your magic? Are they back?"

Merlin alerts too.

"Oh yeah. I forgot that. You're right. I should check that."

Merlin suddenly takes his hand out in the air but he stops in the middle.

"Are you okay with this? I can do it later."

Arthur makes a gesture to just carry on. So Merlin continues, cups his hands together and whispers the spell. Merlin's excited himself if it can works well. So is Arthur. He ever heard how evil magic was but never saw as a memoir. Arthur's staring at Merlin's hands unblinkingly. When Merlin opens his hands cupping the swirls of blue and golden are rising and then so many colour and shapes of butterflies are flapping and flying from them into the air. Arthur's eyes are going wide and his mouth are gaping to 'O'. When he looks at Merlin Merlin's smiling and his eyes are shade of gold.

"Oh My God. It's so beautiful. He's beautiful."

Arthur whispers himself. He never think magic can be that beautiful. Merlin's butterflies are flying over the small animals, flowers, trees and Merlin and even Arthur. Merlin sees Arthur's response and he's glad that Arthur isn't afraid nor flinches and his magic is back to him now. The swirls of blue and gold are following after them. Merlin is glowing with blue and glow. The smiling blue and gold angel.

Arthur can't control the overflow of affection from his heart. He leans in and kisses those smiling lips with his. Merlin gives in immediately. They feel sweet berries taste on each other lips. Arthur thinks he could kiss Merlin all the time of his life. Merlin thinks he could live with that way forever. They're kissing like forever. Arthur slowly pushes Merlin down on the grass, they're still kissing. When he hits the ground with his back Merlin pulls an inch away and gazes with question mark in his eyes at Arthur who hovers over him . Arthur looks down at Merlin and smiles.

"I love you Merlin."

Merlin dumbfounds.

"I think I loved you. I've been loving you all the time. I love you so much."

Arthur sucks at the lower lip of the amazed one. Merlin thinks he's dreaming those daydreams again.

"Tell me you love me too Merlin."

It can't be a dream now. Merlin looks up at Arthur's face and eyes. This serious and full of affection eyes can't be a dream or a lie. Merlin nods his head, he's dazing.

"No. Tell me with this."

Arthur touches Merlin's lips with his to point out. A tear of joy is dropping from Merlin's one eye.

"I… I love you Arthur. I loved you all the time and I'll love you the rest of my life. You mean to me more than my life and myself."

Merlin's words are shaking with emotions. Arthur licks the tear. He embraces Merlin in his arms tightly. He didn't know he's been owned that precious all before long is how silly and blunt he was. Arthur is slowly lifting Merlin's tunic again. Merlin grabs Arthur's wrist.

"Are you sure Arthur? I'm not a girl anymore. I'm fully and completely a man now. I don't think you know or you had those knowledges. You'd be disappointed. I'm same with you. I have same with you."

"I'm more than sure Merlin. You're right I havn't learn nor know those things and you too but I believe love can help us on our way. If you're a girl or a man as long as You're Merlin I'm okay with all. I love you and I want to make love to you. Let me. I think your magic can help us too. Hmm! Merlin?"

Merlin nods and releases Arthur's hand slowly. Arthur can't wait to carry Merlin to the hut. He goes for his goal instantly at the place. They didn't know how to go nor how to work well. But with the strong will of their love and help of Merlin's magic all are starting to be nice and fine. All are clicking in their own rights like meant to be. Nothing is different with the first time. The blue and gold swirls are twriling around the entwined two lovers's bodies.

~Everytime their movement is intense and strong  
~One colour of flower are blooming in the air and falling down on the ground.  
~The meadow grass is full of colourful and fragrant flowers now.

When the love making is finished and they're complete and content together Arthur flops down and lies beside Merlin. Merlin is so tired yet is full with ecstasy. He steals to open his eyes and looks for where Arthur is. Arthur is gazing back at him. Merlin smiles at his lover. He thinks all the surrounding is so aromatic.

"Look around Merlin."

Arthur whisper and cocks his chin. When he sees the carpet of colurful flowers on the ground Merlin's amazed and 'Wow'.

"You've made them all."

"Really?"

Arthur nods, take a red flower from beside him and wears over Merlin's ear.

"So beautiful."

Arthur lowers down and kisses Merlin's sweaty forhead. Merlin pulls Arthur down on him and make himself under the cocoon, he's cuddling in Arthur's arms . Arthur pulls Merlin closer in his arms. They fall asleep again under the canopy of trees and over the velvet of thousand flowers. They forget everything even Camelot apart from each other.

* * *

 

In the afternoon they go bath in the stream. They're playing around and dousing water to each other. Arthur sits down into shallow water, pulls Merlin onto his laps and hugs Merlin's waist from behind.

"I could live with you in here forever. I really would love to."

Merlin holds Arthur's hands over his, turns around and kisses Arthur's temple.

"Me too. I could with you no matter where or when Arthur."

Merlin is going remember something.

"But heyyy!! How did you reach here? You were coming here with what?" Don't tell me you're were walking."

"Oh My God. My horse. Merlin. I came here with my horse. My horse you know? The royal brownie."

Arthur startles and is babbling. Merlin chuckles at that and squeezes Arthur's hand in his.

"Hey! Hey. Don't worry. We'll find him soon. He can't go very far away. He may knows where his master is. I know this one very well. He's loyal and clever."

"I'm sorry. I was too distracted for someone to care about him."

"For who?"

"For you. And your beauty."

Arthur answers and nuzzles at Merlin's ear. Merlin's is itchy and giggling. He pushes down Arthur into the stream.

After moments Merlin hears something strange from some distance. He listens carefully. Arthur cocks his chin to ask Merlin that what is he doing. Merlin is sure it's neigh from the distance. No. They're neighs. Many neighs of the group of horses.

"Arthur I'm hearing many neighs. I think they're group of traders or bandits. We should hide now."

"Really? We can fight with them. I'll go take my sword and you've magic."

"I know but look at ourselves. We can't fight like this."

Merlin points at their naked bodies. Arthur is concerned but he laughs at that. His tunic, trousers and cape are near but Merlin's tunic is torn and soaked. Arthur stands up, goes to the clothes pine and pulls Merlin along with him.

"Arthur"  
"Your majesty"  
"My Lord"

When they hear the callings from away they stop to listen them.

"It's Gwaine"

Merlin says and Arthur nods to confirm. It's sure Gwaine's voices. They feel relief and still a moment but they remember again their situation. Arthurs hands his clothes to Merlin.

"No Arthur. You wear it. You're more important. You're king."

"No. I can handle it. You should wear. You're more important."

They argue each other but the voices are nearer and nearer. Merlin decides and dress Arthur quickly with his skillful hands. Arthur protest but he's dressed completely.

"Arthur"

Gwaine's voice is so clear and nearer. Arthur pick his pendragon cape and fold Merlin in it. Gwaine appears from the woods and is sitting on the horse before them with some warriors. When he sees not Arthur but also Merlin, Gwaine is so amazed and then is so happy.  
He flops down from the horse and is walking to Arthur and Merlin. Other knights are bowing down to Arthur.

"Arthur. Merlin. Wow Merlin. You're real Merlin now. My friend. My Merlin."

Gwaine just bows to Arthur and is go hugging Merlin. Merlin is smiling and is hugging back. The jealousy tingles in Arthur's heart.

"Ahhmm!"

Arthur clears his throat. Gwaine releases Merlin and looks around. Arthur's clothes are wet, dirty and crumbled. Merlin is in nothing but a wrapped cape. He can guess roughly the condition. Gwaine smirks at them.

"How did you find us Gwaine?"

"Ahh I followed you as soon as you've gone but I couldn't find you. I've been wandering around and I saw him just now at near here. So I assumed you're not that far with him. But didn't think Merlin's here too."

Gwaine points out to Arthur's horse behind his horse.

"I'm glad you found him Arthur. But what a shame I missed those great scene."

Gwaine gestures between Arthur and Merlin and smirks.

"Don't worry Gwaine. You'll see those scenes all the time from now on."

With Arthur's unexpected response Gwaine is going 'Wow' and Merlin is blushing so hard.

"Did you bring a spare horse?"

"No Sire. I forgot it."

"It's okay. Merlin has got some wound in his ankel. He can't ride anyway. Merlin will ride together with me."

"Of course Sire. fair enough."

Gwaine makes a mocking bow. Merlin thinks he couldn't be embrassed more.

"We're going home Merlin. Gaius was so worried for you."

Arthur lifts Merlin onto the horse's back. He's going to pick Merlin's white tunic from the ground.

"What are you doing Arthur?"

"It's precious Merlin. It will be memory in our history."

Gwaine is coughing so hard. Merlin thinks he was wrong before because this one is more ashamed. Arthur steps on the horse behind Merlin. Gwaine also gets on his horse.

"We're going back to Camelot."

Gwaine gestures to the knights. They're riding back to Camelot. Arthur takes rien in his hands under Merlin's arms, pulling Merlin closer. Merlin leans back over Arthur's chest.

"Can you remember this place Merlin?"

Arthur whispers into Merlin's ear.

"I can remember. For what?"

"We'll go back here at our wedding anniversary."

"What!!!!"

Merlin flinches and cocks his head back to Arthur. Arthur's laughing loudly. Gwaine and other knights are looking at them what is happening.

"Calm Merlin. Everyone will know."

Arthur mouths at Merlin's neck and is still riding with sang-froid. Merlin looks around and tries to pretend like nothing happens. They're riding with peaceful silence apart from the galloping sound of horses. But Merlin feels something is strange. To be precise Something is amiss or more in his womb. But Merlin is too content in his lover arms to care about anything. No matters what happens in the future as long as Arthur is with him He could deal with everything. When Arthur hugs him tighter Merlin gets deeper into the embrace adjustingly.  


-FIN-

Thank for reading that long. Kudos and comments are pretty welcomed and I want them so much.


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